missingthekeep | [for Meredith]

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[for Meredith]

It's long past late by the time Sean weaves his way around Doc and pulls himself through the front door, battered and sore but feeling on top of the world in spite of it all. A few drinks to calm his nerves had unfortunately had something of the opposite effect, making him more jumped up and energetic than ever and turning into a few more, which wound up costing him half the evening. Either way, he's home now, no matter the shape he's in. And anyway, he hadn't meant to get in a fight, he'd been more curious than anything when he turned up to the little gathering, but then he wasn't exactly given a choice and that had been that. He certainly can't regret it, at any rate, not when coming home to Meredith has been the perfect ending to far worse days than this one.

Hopefully she's still awake.

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"How can ye say that?" Sean asks, louder than he intends, finally moving to face her now that she's got her back to him. "What, ye think I was lyin' before?"

"You're mad at me," Meredith says, not moving. She can't look at him when she feels like this, all but ready to burst into tears at the wrong word. It's just been a long night, that's the only excuse she can give for that. "Because I — you just want sex, you don't care if you're mad at me, you don't want me. I don't want it."

"Meredith," Sean sighs, shifting forward until he can rest his forehead against her shoulder blade. He's doing his best to will some of the tension out of his voice, but it isn't easy. "I'm nae mad at ye. I jus' dinnae want ta fight. I dinnae want t'have been fightin', nae with ye. I jus' want ta forget it."

"You didn't have to snap at me," Meredith says quietly, but she turns her head a little, not quite looking back yet. It's like all she can do is forgive him over and over and over, whatever it takes to make this one corner of their lives okay. She isn't sure it is yet. "I just didn't want it like that."

"'M sorry," Sean whispers, his lips brushing against her skin as he talks. Slowly, almost cautious about it, he reaches over to rest a hand gently at her hip. "I get that, I jus'... 'm sorry."

It takes her a few moments, but Meredith relents, turning carefully toward him, slipping lower so she can kiss him. "Still love me?" she asks. She doesn't care how goddamn needy she sounds, she still feels the need to ask, maybe because the answer's the only thing she feels sure of.

"Always," Sean replies, deepening the kiss without a moment's hesitation. He hardly knows which way his own head is screwed on these days, so when given the opportunity to assure her of one of the few things he never wavers on, he relishes it. If only he was better at showing it in other ways. Slipping his arm around her, he pauses for a moment, eyes cast downward. "Same question."

Meredith nods, pulling him into another kiss. "Always," she says. He drives her half-crazy, but that part's never in doubt. In spite of having known he'd say that, in spite of everything, hearing it's enough to ease her uncertainty, make her press closer. "So much."

Sean groans quietly, pushing his hips against hers when she edges closer, but even with the state he's in, he's hesitant to push things after being shot down already. "Still want me?"

It's a little frustrating for her that the answer's the same to that question, too. Meredith hesitates a moment, then nods again, hand moving down his back to pull him closer. "Yes," she says. "God, Sean, yes."

"Oh, thank God," Sean says in a whispered rush, any tentativeness in his actions disappearing as he starts in on getting her pants off. The way he feels right now is far needier in his eyes than asking for a little bit of validation, but he's more than a little biased, and he also doesn't have it in him to care just yet. That's what the morning will be for.

Meredith bites her lip, whimpering as she lifts her hips to help him. It isn't fair he can make her so angry, so hurt, and still have this effect on her, but she wants to forget, too, and she's not going to let it slow her down now that she's surer of her decision. "So you still want me?" she asks, like that isn't perfectly self-evident.

"So much," Sean says, his words slurred and movements rough as he strips her, his heart pounding somewhere up near his throat as if they've never done this before. "Want ye so much it makes me crazy sometimes."

"I know," Meredith says on an exhale, moving to kiss him again, on the mouth, then the neck. "Sometimes I don't even know why, I just want you. In me, touching me, just..." Now has to be one of the those times, when she's so sure she'll just be mad at him again tomorrow, but she just wants his hands on her as she sucks at his throat.

"Yes," Sean hisses, drawing the sound out, not even sure what he's agreeing with. At least he's not alone in feeling this way, he thinks, tipping his head back as he works to get his boxers off, set on fulfilling a few of those mysterious wants of hers. Whatever it is they've done to each other, he has to believe that it's something good.

Meredith hesitates, uncertain if only because she's not sure about letting go altogether when he's banged up like this, but the moment passes. She turns her attention back to him, teeth dragging down the line of his neck. If something hurts, if something's off limits, he'll say so. Until then, she just wants to put all this fuss behind her for a little while and feel good, hand moving down his hip as she kisses him again.

If he pays too much attention to it, everything hurts, but so long as he doesn't focus on it, it just adds a bit of a bite to the proceedings, heightens the sensations that much more. His breathing goes a touch ragged as he slides her panties off and nudges her legs apart, baring his throat to her all the while. He's no masochist, but he wouldn't change a single thing right now if given the chance.

Rolling onto her back, Meredith lifts her head to keep at his throat, sucking at the skin there, her hand at his neck. She just wants him close, wants him on her, but it's easier this way to follow that cue, legs spreading apart so readily, she's half-forgotten why she resisted to begin with. "Sean," she breathes out, reaching blindly for his wrist, pulling his hand toward her.

"Meredith," Sean gasps by way of reply, mouth curling up into a dazed smile as he presses one finger into her, moving to cover her body with his own even as he does. If tonight was about finding release, some place to vent all his pent-up frustrations, the ability to grasp why this just wasn't enough is suddenly beyond him. This is everything, she's all he needs. How could he forget that?

Meredith moans, hips lifting at once. It just makes her want that much more, something wound tight and low in her belly, legs moving a little further still. She can think of this as a problem if she wants to, a distraction from the real issues, but that's what she wants so much of the time, it's impossible to care. "Oh god," she gasps, pushing herself up to kiss him, every part of her straining toward him.

Slipping his tongue past her lips, Sean settles himself between her legs, continuing to work at her just to see her wind herself up, get her drawn so tight she feels like she might snap and know that it's all for him. His own needs are far too pressing to ignore for long though, and he has to stop, fumbling to get himself into position and resting his forehead against hers so he can catch his breath before he really needs it.

Already it feels like her heart's going a mile a minute. A whine catching in her throat when he stops, Meredith looks up, hazy and desperate. She wants what's next more, though, and she does her best to pull herself together before, slowly, deliberately, she rocks her hips against his, gasping again. She's still reserving judgment on just how much this makes up for, but god, how he gets to her.

Sean can't hold back in the face of that and he presses forward, rocking up into her as the air leaves his body in a rush. There's no more hesitation. One moment he's entering her, and the next he's moving in quick, sharp thrusts that only highlight what rough shape he's in as he pushes himself up on his arms for support. He doesn't care in the slightest.

With a sharp cry, hips snapping up, Meredith turns her head away. It's as sudden as it is expected, overwhelming, and she needs a moment to recover the breath she's lost. He doesn't make it easy, occupying the whole of her attention, making it difficult to breathe or think, making her want that, any lingering doubts pushed aside. She looks up a moment later, hooking a leg over his hips as she tries to match him, a hand at the back of his neck to pull him into a kiss.

Sean's kiss is messy and off-centre as he drives himself into her over and over, intent on forcing as many of those luscious sounds and sensations out of her as he can. It hurts, but it doesn't feel like it does, the warm and yielding curves of her body acting like a balm against his bruises and settling his mind with all its frayed, worn-out thoughts. Maybe sex isn't some magic cure-all for whatever was ailing them a few minutes ago, but right now, it sure as hell feels like it is.

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