[for Meredith]

[missingthekeep]

It's long past late by the time Sean weaves his way around Doc and pulls himself through the front door, battered and sore but feeling on top of the world in spite of it all. A few drinks to calm his nerves had unfortunately had something of the opposite effect, making him more jumped up and energetic than ever and turning into a few more, which wound up costing him half the evening. Either way, he's home now, no matter the shape he's in. And anyway, he hadn't meant to get in a fight, he'd been more curious than anything when he turned up to the little gathering, but then he wasn't exactly given a choice and that had been that. He certainly can't regret it, at any rate, not when coming home to Meredith has been the perfect ending to far worse days than this one.

Hopefully she's still awake.

Comments

[missingthekeep.livejournal.com]

"Love ye," Sean replies, moving his head only the absolute minimum distance necessary to kiss her back, his smile now drowsy and content. "I really am sorry f'r worryin' ye."

[drownondryland]

Meredith nods, resting her head on his chest and pulling his arm a little closer around her. "Thank you," she murmurs. "It's just this place. Never knowing what's happened, if you're coming back, it puts me on edge." She hates being that person, the paranoid woman home alone, waiting for her man. It doesn't add up in her head, but she can't turn it off either. Then again, she's not so sure what about that would change if they went home and he returned to his work.

[missingthekeep.livejournal.com]

Sean gives a subtle nod, though his smile doesn't fade and he doesn't take his eyes off of her for a second. "How many times've I got ta tell ye 'fore ye believe it? I'm always comin' back t'ye." Sometimes it just takes him longer than it should.

[drownondryland]

Meredith turns her face against his skin, quiet a moment with her eyes closed, more relaxed than she thought she could be tonight. "I know you will," she says, tipping her head up again. She'll never forgive him if he doesn't. "I believe you. But I worry sometimes anyway."

[missingthekeep.livejournal.com]

"I'd tell ye ta knock it off, but I ken it's nae as simple as that," Sean says with a short, quiet chuckle as his eyes slip closed. He's certainly not going to stop worrying about such things anytime soon.

[drownondryland]

It isn't, not by a long shot, though Meredith wishes it were. She's just been too wrong about too many important things and this place is unpredictable. "Just keep coming back," she says. "Keep coming back and maybe someday I'll get it to stick."

[missingthekeep.livejournal.com]

"Can do, lassie," Sean murmurs happily, trying to get a hold of the covers without moving more than is absolutely necessary. "All ye need ta do is keep distracting me long enae that I f'rget ta worry."

[drownondryland]

"About what?" Meredith asks. "I'm not going anywhere either. Not without you." It takes her a few moments to realize what he's trying to do and then a few moments more before she can make herself move, pushing the covers down with her foot instead until she can get under.

[missingthekeep.livejournal.com]

"I still worry when I 'member to," Sean says, finally able to relax for the first time all night. "Ye know how 'tis."

[drownondryland]

"I wish I didn't," Meredith says. "But yeah. Well. I can distract you. That, I'm good at." Not always as good as she'd like to be when they aren't in bed, but these days, she has to take what victories she can.

[missingthekeep.livejournal.com]

"That, ye're amazin' at," Sean amends, leaning down to nuzzle at her hair for a few moments as he edges further under the sheets. Admittedly, right this second, he's thinking only about when they're in bed, but it holds true the rest of the time, as well.

[drownondryland]

"I'd hope you think so," Meredith says wryly, slipping higher to kiss him again, slow and lingering. She's still not thrilled about what he did tonight, but she doesn't want to argue anymore, not right now. "You're kind of biased, but I like it that way. Works in my favor."

[missingthekeep.livejournal.com]

"Who's biased?" Sean protests mildly, opening his eyes halfway and trying not to laugh for some reason. "I'll have ye know I go into these things entirely impartial-like."

[drownondryland]

"Oh, of course," Meredith says, swatting at his shoulder. She smirks drowsily, shaking her head at him. "What happened to you always want me?"

[missingthekeep.livejournal.com]

"Still holds," Sean says with a smug, stubborn shake of his head. "No bias involved, though. Jus' makes sense."

[drownondryland]

"It does not," Meredith says, laughing. She tucks her face against his neck, planting a kiss there before she settles again. "You don't go around wanting anyone else, do you?"

[missingthekeep.livejournal.com]

Sean grins, scoffing as if she'd asked him if he goes around thinking the sky is green or something of the sort. "Got no reason to. Why on Earth should I?"

[drownondryland]

"Then it's just me," Meredith says, smug although she's half-forgotten what she was talking about to begin with. It doesn't really seem to matter.

[missingthekeep.livejournal.com]

"Jus' you," Sean echoes, not even all that sure what he's agreeing with anymore, but liking the sound of it either way. "Ye're everythin'."

[drownondryland]

Meredith shakes her head, although she isn't quite disagreeing. She believes him, she does, except for the part of her that's still insecure about it all, still uncertain. That's not something she plans to mention ever again. "You should have more than just me," she murmurs. "Other people you can count on. Even if I like mattering so much to you."

[missingthekeep.livejournal.com]

Sean's quiet for a while, rolling her words thoroughly through his head before he replies. "I know," he finally says, quietly, his eyes closed again. "I ne'er used ta be this way."

[drownondryland]

"It's not easy," Meredith says. "Making friends, meeting people, finding people who actually count. And it's been a rough few months. I get it." She props her head up one hand so she can look at him while she speaks. As little as she wants to dampen the mood, now she's started, it's worth finishing. "I worry, though. About what happens if... if we don't leave together. If you have to... be alone here until you can get to me."

[missingthekeep.livejournal.com]

Sean stays where he is, unmoving, letting the things she says sink in, alcohol and fatigue loosening his lips in a manner he'll be glad if he can forget come the morning. "I think I've forgotten how t'be alone. I was always meself first, an' then one half of an 'us' second, e'en when things got serious. But then she was gone an' it was like... I lost meself along with her. An' I'm nae quite sure I e'er got it back."

[drownondryland]

Meredith doesn't move, gaze dropping, unfocused on some spot on the sheets. It's a little easier to feel prepared for that when it was already on her mind, but that doesn't mean she wants to think about it. It's just a new way of putting the things she already knows: that no matter what he says, she's never quite going to be enough, not to set things right. She'll never be what his wife (former, dead, whatever, it doesn't really help like she thought it would) was. "Then you work with what you have," she says before the silence drags on too long. "You have to be someone. You're not just no one now."

[missingthekeep.livejournal.com]

"I know," Sean says again, a little more sullen, but not aware enough to let it drag him down too much. "Apart from you, though, it sure feels that way lately. Sometimes, I wonder... maybe I wasnae ready."