missingthekeep | Valentine's Day [for Meredith]

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Valentine's Day [for Meredith]

Two weeks. Two bloody weeks since that damned station fell out of the sky, he and Meredith on it, two weeks since their not-so-grand getaway, two weeks since Sean's been able to voice a simple thought. And it's been miserable, there's no denying it, worse even than the last time he found himself unable to speak, when things had been good and it had just been a whim of the island doing it instead of his own stupid mistakes, but he's trying. For Meredith, and maybe more importantly, for himself, he's trying. He gets up, he fills his days, he makes it from sunup to sundown, and then he does it all over again, because the alternative is giving up, and he can finally see that that's exactly what he'd been doing for months. It hadn't helped.

So he's trying. He still spends most of his time alone or with Meredith because it's simpler, he sneaks the odd drink when he can, but overall, he's being good. He's being good and he's trying because he has to have faith that this will get better. Faith in her, faith in himself, faith in what's left of the life he built for himself here, any of the above, all of the above, it doesn't matter. He can do this.

It's a seemingly unbearable situation, but he bears it anyway, because that's just what he does. He bears it and he keeps the faith that things will improve again. And if they don't, if something else breaks, then he'll weather that, too. Today, bearing it means not ignoring what day it is, no matter how silly a day it may be.

Waking early, he tears half a sheet of paper from the notepad on the nightstand that he's been relying on and scrawls a quick message, adding a small, lopsided heart for good measure before folding it in half and resting it gingerly on Meredith's chest.

Morning, beautiful.

Who says he needs to be able to speak to be cheesy?

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More and more these days, Meredith's remembering how easy this can be, how happy they can be in spite of everything that's happened, if she stops getting tangled up in being worried. They're still here, they're still together, on their second Valentine's. Hands on his arms, she draws her legs under her, turning to face him better. "You're gonna make me actually like this stupid holiday," she says against his mouth, grinning.

Sean just keeps smiling into her kiss, wrapping his arms around her and pulling her close. He's already made her come around on a few other stupid holidays, why shouldn't he add another to the list? He doesn't plan on bringing that up, though, not when memories of this past Christmas still hit hard enough to make him pause for a fraction of a second.

It's brief enough Meredith hardly notices, her arms draped over his shoulders as she nuzzles against him. At times like this, more than most, she misses his being able to talk without having to rely on writing things down. It can't be as much as he misses it, though, and she keeps that thought to herself. Lying slowly back down, she pulls him with her.

The moment's over just like that, and Sean gives a relaxed sigh as he moves with her, running a hand slowly along the side of her body and laying down half over her. It's never going to get easy, but some things just don't need words.

Edited 2011-02-19 13:45 (UTC)

Fingers brushing idly along the nape of his neck, Meredith kisses him again before she lets her head fall back. As much as she approves of his plan, she still feels compelled to ask, "You're sure you're up to this? Doesn't exactly fall under the category of resting." She wouldn't have gone along with it this far if she didn't think he'd be fine with a certain degree of caution, but if he's not feeling well today, she needs to know.

It's tempting to roll his eyes at that, but she's just offering concern, and he smiles reassuringly as he draws back a bit. Knowing him, his answer would likely be the same whether he was sure or not, so it probably doesn't even matter (and maybe that doesn't count as being good, but he should at least be allowed a few of his little vices, and she definitely qualifies). Reaching down, he carefully pats his still-healing laceration with a nod. He could be half-dead and still consider himself up to this. He'll be fine.

"This is why someone else should be your doctor," sighs Meredith, raising herself up to kiss him again. Granted, she knows this counts as behaving for him, that he wouldn't listen to someone else anyway, but he makes it too easy to ignore any medical concerns she might have (if he's not okay, she'll notice, she'll stop him, that's good enough). "I'm pretty sure fooling around counts as strenuous activity."

Sean scrunches up his face and shakes his head, smiling again right after as he dips his head to press a soft, lingering kiss to her jaw. As long as they take it slow and careful, what's the problem? Other than the way that tends to be far easier a thing to do in theory than in practice. It's not his fault that she gets him worked up.

"Okay," Meredith murmurs, eyes closing, turning her head to kiss him again. "We can take it slow. Take our time. We have hours." If she sees any sign he's in pain, she has every intention of putting a stop to things, though she's not sure she has that kind of willpower. She's done her best to resist temptation these last couple weeks, but he makes it so difficult and she's never been good at that anyway. "And... it is Valentine's day."

Sean's smile turns positively wicked at that and he nods, seeking out her hands to thread his fingers through her own and stretch her arms out to the side. If it does come down to it, he figures he's got at least a bit of wiggle when it comes to overextending himself in the pursuit of love, but maybe her ability to overwhelm isn't the only one he's got a high opinion of.

Meredith laughs, letting him move her as she arches up to kiss him. There's something promising in that smile, something of a thrill in not knowing what he has in mind, not even being able to ask unless she wants him to get paper and pen and write it all out. She winds up talking more these days to compensate, to keep the house from getting too quiet, but right now, she's silent, watching him.

Pinning her hands loosely to the bed, Sean presses his body against hers and gives a long, slow exhalation as he bends his head to leave a trail of gentle kisses along her throat, all careful lips and tongue since he hasn't shaved yet. He's now taken to telling himself that he honestly doesn't know what she's worried about. He can keep things from getting too strenuous. No problem.

Sighing, Meredith tips her head back, eyes half-closed. She could fall back asleep still if she let herself, but the warm weight of him on her and the path he's traveling ensure she won't. Drawing her foot along his calf, she brings a leg up against him. There's no reason to worry after all, she decides. They're perfectly capable of taking it easy.

Sean lingers for a moment as he slides a little further underneath the covers, warm and content as he sucks at the hollow of her neck before moving down to her collarbone. These are the moments he's been living for these past couple of weeks, the too-brief ones where he can ignore the situation he's gone and put himself in, the ones where they likely wouldn't be talking anyway. It makes it even more of a shame that his other injury has kept them from really exploiting that until now. For as long as they draw this out, things can be exactly as they should.

Meredith starts to lift a hand before she remembers he's got her pinned down. She could get free if she wanted, but she leaves it, squirming under him, a sound catching in her throat. It's the anticipation that gets her, though, as much as that slight restriction. It's been far too long since they were able to do much of anything and she wants him to hurry it up as much as she enjoys him taking his time, closing her eyes and letting him continue to take the lead.

The way she moves beneath him sends a frisson of desire through him and Sean embraces it, pressing his mouth to the side of one breast as he ducks completely beneath the sheets, sliding against her. Anticipation is a beautiful, beautiful thing.

"Okay, that's unfair," Meredith says, turning her head like she might be able to see him still. The protest is half-hearted at best, though, when she can't actually say she minds being at this kind of a disadvantage. Though she has a good idea where he's headed, not knowing how he intends to get there is half the thrill.

Sean has to stifle the urge to laugh at that (it really is the little things that he misses most of all), a playful nip at her side serving as his reply before he busies himself drawing her nipple into his mouth, finally relinquishing his hold on one wrist to run his hand down her leg.

Meredith starts to laugh, but it's cut off a moment later, replaced with a moan as she arches up against him. That makes up for whatever injustice she was claiming, at least. Careful not to dislodge the sheets too much, she slips her hand under to find the back of his neck. That's another point in the holiday's favor, then.

Fingers digging in momentarily as she presses against him, Sean recovers quickly, his tongue swirling around and over as he languidly mouths her. All the while, he lets his hand creep lower before slowly sliding back up her inside leg, just enjoying the feel of her.

Tipping her head back, Meredith makes an effort to keep taking deep breaths even as her hips strain pointlessly toward him. The slow drag of his tongue keeps sending little waves of heat through her, running straight down, content but wanting more with every touch.

Sean takes his mouth off of her just long enough to pay the same attention to the other side, grinning to himself all the while. Drawing the hand at her leg away at the same time, he lets that severed point of contact hang in the air for long seconds, taking advantage of the fact that she shouldn't be able to see him to try surprising her. Cutting right to the chase, his movements still slow, he slips his hand between her legs to rub at her out of the blue, his touch light and teasing.

Any effort at focus and calm Meredith's making, she forgets. Even having half-expected that, his touch catches her off-guard and she moans, back arching, legs spreading a little further. It's just enough from him to make staying still difficult, though she tries to, free hand sliding into his hair. She did say they should take their time.

Sean stays true to that plan, leisurely stroking her with thumb and fingers. Eventually, he takes his mouth off of her, instead just shuffling down a little more to rest his cheek against her belly, enjoying the feel of her hand in his hair. He's not so much holding her down anymore as just hanging on to her arm, drawing slow circles against the inside of her wrist as his eyes slip shut and he breathes deep.

Even with him working her up like this, Meredith finds there's something peaceful about lying here like this with him. It feels like just them again, the whole rest of the world disappeared, unimportant, nothing mattering so much as the slight weight of his head and the press of his fingers. "Sean," she says, her breath catching in her throat, little moans and whimpers escaping, and it's all she can do not to buck up into his touch.

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