missingthekeep | Valentine's Day [for Meredith]

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Valentine's Day [for Meredith]

Two weeks. Two bloody weeks since that damned station fell out of the sky, he and Meredith on it, two weeks since their not-so-grand getaway, two weeks since Sean's been able to voice a simple thought. And it's been miserable, there's no denying it, worse even than the last time he found himself unable to speak, when things had been good and it had just been a whim of the island doing it instead of his own stupid mistakes, but he's trying. For Meredith, and maybe more importantly, for himself, he's trying. He gets up, he fills his days, he makes it from sunup to sundown, and then he does it all over again, because the alternative is giving up, and he can finally see that that's exactly what he'd been doing for months. It hadn't helped.

So he's trying. He still spends most of his time alone or with Meredith because it's simpler, he sneaks the odd drink when he can, but overall, he's being good. He's being good and he's trying because he has to have faith that this will get better. Faith in her, faith in himself, faith in what's left of the life he built for himself here, any of the above, all of the above, it doesn't matter. He can do this.

It's a seemingly unbearable situation, but he bears it anyway, because that's just what he does. He bears it and he keeps the faith that things will improve again. And if they don't, if something else breaks, then he'll weather that, too. Today, bearing it means not ignoring what day it is, no matter how silly a day it may be.

Waking early, he tears half a sheet of paper from the notepad on the nightstand that he's been relying on and scrawls a quick message, adding a small, lopsided heart for good measure before folding it in half and resting it gingerly on Meredith's chest.

Morning, beautiful.

Who says he needs to be able to speak to be cheesy?

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It's a few more minutes before Meredith wakes, his movements prompting her to roll toward him, and she's still half-asleep when she notices the paper. It's tumbled onto her hand and she can't, for a moment, make sense of how to pick it up because of that. Unfolding it, she smiles as she reads, shifting closer to kiss him. "Good morning yourself," she says, fond if drowsy. The last couple weeks haven't been easy, but it hasn't escaped her notice that he's making an effort, putting to rest her fears this would wind up a repeat of the last time. The situation is worse, but she has an easier time believing they'll be okay, better than okay.

Smiling, Sean drags the notepad back over now that she's up, holding the pen loosely between his teeth once he's finished writing and propping his head up on one hand. Normally, he'd be more than content to lay with her in silence for a while and not bother, but he's out to accomplish things today.

We should do something.

"Do what?" Meredith asks, arm bent under her head as she glances back up. She doesn't have anything in mind, too content to bother thinking about it, but she's still game for whatever he comes up with. For the moment, just lying here sounds good, though.

Didn't think that far ahead, Sean scrawls, shrugging lazily.

Something.

Picking up the folded scrap of paper, he taps the heart to emphasize what day it is.

It takes Meredith a few moments, confusion flickering across her face before her eyes widen a little. "Oh," she says, breaking into a grin, almost laughing, "right. Of course, okay." She knew what day it is enough to know she has neither work nor class, but the holiday slipped her mind altogether. It's not one she's celebrated much in the past. "Okay. Well... I don't know, I haven't thought of anything either."

Sean thinks it over for a moment before sitting up a bit to write without her being able to see until he's finished and hands it off.

My idea:

1) Fool around for a few hours until I have to go to class.
2) Class and then patrol.
3) Meet up and go from there.

Yeah, he's a master tactician, alright.

Meredith laughs, biting her lip as she moves to rest her head in his lap. "Such a romantic," she teases, though really, most of the time, he's better at that kind of thing than she is and she wouldn't want anything sappy or trite. "I couldn't begin to come up with a better plan. Although you don't think we might need breakfast at some point?"

To be honest, it hadn't seemed like much of a priority, but Sean reconsiders for a moment, tapping the pen against the page for a moment before squeezing 1 1/2) Breakfast into the narrow gap between numbers one and two and adding a brief addendum.

Better?

Nodding, Meredith pushes herself up on her hands so she can kiss him. "I think that covers everything for now," she says, almost laughing, more alert now. The circumstances may be less than ideal, but it's easy to be in a good mood, waking up to this.

Sean grins, dropping the notebook at his side with a satisfied flourish before he kisses her back, cradling her face in his hands. Things may still be far from perfect, but she makes it so easy to forget that when he's willing to.

More and more these days, Meredith's remembering how easy this can be, how happy they can be in spite of everything that's happened, if she stops getting tangled up in being worried. They're still here, they're still together, on their second Valentine's. Hands on his arms, she draws her legs under her, turning to face him better. "You're gonna make me actually like this stupid holiday," she says against his mouth, grinning.

Sean just keeps smiling into her kiss, wrapping his arms around her and pulling her close. He's already made her come around on a few other stupid holidays, why shouldn't he add another to the list? He doesn't plan on bringing that up, though, not when memories of this past Christmas still hit hard enough to make him pause for a fraction of a second.

It's brief enough Meredith hardly notices, her arms draped over his shoulders as she nuzzles against him. At times like this, more than most, she misses his being able to talk without having to rely on writing things down. It can't be as much as he misses it, though, and she keeps that thought to herself. Lying slowly back down, she pulls him with her.

The moment's over just like that, and Sean gives a relaxed sigh as he moves with her, running a hand slowly along the side of her body and laying down half over her. It's never going to get easy, but some things just don't need words.

Edited 2011-02-19 13:45 (UTC)

Fingers brushing idly along the nape of his neck, Meredith kisses him again before she lets her head fall back. As much as she approves of his plan, she still feels compelled to ask, "You're sure you're up to this? Doesn't exactly fall under the category of resting." She wouldn't have gone along with it this far if she didn't think he'd be fine with a certain degree of caution, but if he's not feeling well today, she needs to know.

It's tempting to roll his eyes at that, but she's just offering concern, and he smiles reassuringly as he draws back a bit. Knowing him, his answer would likely be the same whether he was sure or not, so it probably doesn't even matter (and maybe that doesn't count as being good, but he should at least be allowed a few of his little vices, and she definitely qualifies). Reaching down, he carefully pats his still-healing laceration with a nod. He could be half-dead and still consider himself up to this. He'll be fine.

"This is why someone else should be your doctor," sighs Meredith, raising herself up to kiss him again. Granted, she knows this counts as behaving for him, that he wouldn't listen to someone else anyway, but he makes it too easy to ignore any medical concerns she might have (if he's not okay, she'll notice, she'll stop him, that's good enough). "I'm pretty sure fooling around counts as strenuous activity."

Sean scrunches up his face and shakes his head, smiling again right after as he dips his head to press a soft, lingering kiss to her jaw. As long as they take it slow and careful, what's the problem? Other than the way that tends to be far easier a thing to do in theory than in practice. It's not his fault that she gets him worked up.

"Okay," Meredith murmurs, eyes closing, turning her head to kiss him again. "We can take it slow. Take our time. We have hours." If she sees any sign he's in pain, she has every intention of putting a stop to things, though she's not sure she has that kind of willpower. She's done her best to resist temptation these last couple weeks, but he makes it so difficult and she's never been good at that anyway. "And... it is Valentine's day."

Sean's smile turns positively wicked at that and he nods, seeking out her hands to thread his fingers through her own and stretch her arms out to the side. If it does come down to it, he figures he's got at least a bit of wiggle when it comes to overextending himself in the pursuit of love, but maybe her ability to overwhelm isn't the only one he's got a high opinion of.

Meredith laughs, letting him move her as she arches up to kiss him. There's something promising in that smile, something of a thrill in not knowing what he has in mind, not even being able to ask unless she wants him to get paper and pen and write it all out. She winds up talking more these days to compensate, to keep the house from getting too quiet, but right now, she's silent, watching him.

Pinning her hands loosely to the bed, Sean presses his body against hers and gives a long, slow exhalation as he bends his head to leave a trail of gentle kisses along her throat, all careful lips and tongue since he hasn't shaved yet. He's now taken to telling himself that he honestly doesn't know what she's worried about. He can keep things from getting too strenuous. No problem.

Sighing, Meredith tips her head back, eyes half-closed. She could fall back asleep still if she let herself, but the warm weight of him on her and the path he's traveling ensure she won't. Drawing her foot along his calf, she brings a leg up against him. There's no reason to worry after all, she decides. They're perfectly capable of taking it easy.

Sean lingers for a moment as he slides a little further underneath the covers, warm and content as he sucks at the hollow of her neck before moving down to her collarbone. These are the moments he's been living for these past couple of weeks, the too-brief ones where he can ignore the situation he's gone and put himself in, the ones where they likely wouldn't be talking anyway. It makes it even more of a shame that his other injury has kept them from really exploiting that until now. For as long as they draw this out, things can be exactly as they should.

Meredith starts to lift a hand before she remembers he's got her pinned down. She could get free if she wanted, but she leaves it, squirming under him, a sound catching in her throat. It's the anticipation that gets her, though, as much as that slight restriction. It's been far too long since they were able to do much of anything and she wants him to hurry it up as much as she enjoys him taking his time, closing her eyes and letting him continue to take the lead.

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