Christmas Eve [for Meredith]

[missingthekeep]

Sean's so nervous, he thinks he might pass out. He was expecting to be nervous, of course, he was anxious as sin the last time he tried something as insane as this with the last woman to cross his path, but this... this really goes above and beyond. Fortunately, in the years since his last proposal of marriage, he's gotten a hell of a lot better at hiding how nervous he is, so the only outward show of it he allows is some fidgeting with the ring in his jacket pocket. It doesn't help much.

It's a good ring, he thinks. Fancy and pretty without overdoing it. He'll want something a little more personal than what he could scrounge from the Pond woman's stash for the final things, but as an engagement ring, it does nicely. Would that he were so confident about the rest of this, especially when he has every reason to be. This isn't about how lousy everything else in his life is right now, this is about him and Meredith, nothing else. And they're good. They're better than good, occasional hiccups aside. He wants this, she wants this, and they're great, they're solid. How could this possibly be the wrong thing to do, the wrong time to do it?

It isn't, he tells himself for the thirtieth time. Besides, it's already been weeks since she told him she was ready, that she was finally and fully ready to marry him. How much longer does he really have?

Right.

Right.

"Nice night, innit?" he asks with a smile, trying to keep up the charade that he dragged her out to the snow-covered beach for nothing more than a walk on Christmas Eve as long as he's able.

Comments

[drownondryland]

Leaning her head against his, Meredith smiles, almost embarrassed now, though that doesn't make her any less pleased by it. "I was here," she says, "that's all. Not exactly hard work, being here with you." It might not always be easy, but in between these times, she forgets that.

[missingthekeep.livejournal.com]

"It can be," Sean whispers, eyes closed. She can't think that he doesn't know that.

[drownondryland]

"And I make it so easy all the time," Meredith says dryly. Hand at his cheek, she draws back to look at him again. She might not be able to make him believe her, but she still has to say it. "It's worth it. It's always worth it."

[missingthekeep.livejournal.com]

Sean doesn't bother replying, just turns his head slightly into her touch and sighs. Maybe he still has trouble believing it, but really, isn't her opinion the only one that matters in this situation?

"D'ye want ta lay down 'fore I start bawlin' again?"

[drownondryland]

Meredith laughs a little and nods, kissing him again first. "Yeah," she says, "alright." Reaching back, she takes his hands in hers as she gets to her feet. "Are you gonna be okay?" That he can joke about this at all is encouraging, though she doubts he'd tell her otherwise even if it were the case.

[missingthekeep.livejournal.com]

Sean takes his time standing up, hands in hers, before he tries to answer. "I hope so," he says, shooting for something a little closer to emotional honesty than he usually goes for.

[drownondryland]

Meredith considers that a moment, then sighs. "Me, too," she says, walking backwards toward their room. She could hope for better, but it wouldn't be true, not yet. It's not like she could say more for herself some days.

[missingthekeep.livejournal.com]

Sean just nods once as he follows her back, the only response that really strikes him as necessary. On the off-chance that he does wind up pulling himself together, it'll be for her sake more than anything else, anyway.