Item Post [for Meredith]

[missingthekeep]

Sean sleeps well these days. Not heavily, and not nearly as soundly on the nights he spends alone, but better than he's slept in what feels like years, certainly. Which is what he chalks it up to when it takes him a few minutes to come to as he rolls over in the night and slips his arm underneath his pillow, finding a piece of thin, hard plastic there for him to wrap his hand around. Eventually, the fact that something's not quite right with that manages to filter through to him and he sits up abruptly, trying not to wake Meredith in the process.

It's too dark to see, but he's got that sinking feeling in his stomach that lets him know something's wrong, and he decides to duck out, see if he can get a better look outside. Scrounging around on the floor for a second in the gloom, he manages to find a pair of jeans to pull on before he sneaks out, as quietly as can, and lets his eyes adjust to the moonlight and the dim glow from a light down the path.

Of all the things to randomly turn up, he never would have expected the damn disk he'd been sent to Germany after, but somehow, he's not surprised in the slightest when he recognizes it, flipping the slim case over in his hands. The only question left is why it's there. It's not like the ring, it's nothing personal or of any value to anyone, especially here where it's worth less than the materials it's made out of. He should just chuck it off into the trees somewhere and go back to bed, back where he's wanted, forget about it the way he's been doing for months. And yet...

Sighing, he scrubs a hand over his face and searches for a spot to sit down, leaning against his hut. Take a second to process it and then get on with his life, he can do that. Never mind the way it seems to remind him that, on those nights where he's all alone with his thoughts, this life can feel like one big lie. "Mission accomplished, boyo," he mutters under his breath, tapping his nails against it. All the hell he'd been through before coming to the island, all for this. Fat lot of good it does him now.

None of it was ever about the mission, anyway.

Comments

[drownondryland]

"Maybe." Meredith doubts that day will ever come, but it's nice to think it might and easier to believe possible than it used to be. He loves her for a reason, even if those reasons are beyond her to understand; it might not be everything, but most days, it feels like enough. Slipping out of her jeans and back into bed, she props her head up on her hand and adds, "You wouldn't believe me if I said you're amazing either, though."

[missingthekeep.livejournal.com]

How could he? After tonight, how could he even pretend? Still, there's no point in trying to contest the point or brush it off, she'd see right through him either way. "Guess we c'n both use regular remindin', then," Sean says, letting his jeans lay where they fall as he crawls back under the covers, ready to drop. A part of him chafes at being known so deeply, but it's an increasingly tiny part. More and more, it's just a comfort, a need for no more surprises, at least in this. "Love you."

[drownondryland]

Meredith leans in to kiss him before she lies down, welcoming the weariness creeping in again. "I know," she says, and that's kind of the best part, she thinks. She can second guess his actions, she can doubt when he mentions his wife, but she still knows. It doesn't mean she can't do with being regularly reminded of that, too. "I love you, too." She's made such a habit of not saying it that it's still a little strange, but pleasantly so, and she smiles as she turns away.

[missingthekeep.livejournal.com]

What's surprising to Sean is how it doesn't seem strange to hear it, even after so long. Just different, one more change for the better in his life that she's brought about. It's still going to take some getting used to. Slipping an arm around her waist, another smile eludes him but he gives a contended hum, closing his eyes. Tomorrow's another day, and at this point, it almost has to be a better one, no matter how much that might be tempting fate. If it gets him more of this, more of her, he's willing to take the chance.