polly_okeefe: (Polly Sad)
polly_okeefe ([personal profile] polly_okeefe) wrote in [personal profile] missingthekeep 2009-01-06 07:24 am (UTC)

I let out the breath I was holding, then cleared my nose with a sniff. I wasn't sure that this was going to help, but I guessed that it wouldn't hurt.

"I knew a woman... a friend... a mentor. Her name was Maximiliana Horne." I licked my lips, then continued. "She was a good person, took me under her wing. Made me feel proud about my true name. But she'd had a hard life and she was dying. Ursula -- her doctor, partner, lover -- had basically set things up so she could die in peace, but there was a lot of pain."

I closed my eyes and gathered my strength. "One night, I came over to Max's place, and she'd been drinking. A lot. She was in a lot of pain and... she was not herself. She hated her life, her family, herself, and she wanted... an 'affirmation of life'. She wanted me. I thought she was going to rape me. She was horrified about it later, but at that moment-- I ran. Far away. I didn't speak to her for weeks, even though I knew she was about to die."

"I was in Greece before I finally found the courage to call her, to listen to her say she was sorry, and to tell her that it was all right. I managed to get that out before the line dropped." I sniffed. "She died before I made it home."

I focused on him. "I don't have any cure-alls, Sean. But a part of me wishes I hadn't run that night. And a part of me wishes she hadn't taken up the bottle."

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