Meredith doesn't have the luxury of staying by his bedside at first and she is, guilty though she feels for it, grateful for that. He's told her more than once how strong she is, but she's not, not like this, and she can't still and wait for a sign she can breathe again. There are more than enough doctors to care for the incoming patients without her having to do any of the work herself, but she's desperate for something to do, so she falls to becoming a kind of glorified traffic director, making everything runs in perfect order and everyone is where they're meant to be, which includes getting her own cut cleaned and bandaged. She shouldn't have waited so long, she tells herself later, but it doesn't really feel like something that matters.

She can't lose herself in any of it, the rush and the adrenaline of it. She's perfect and utterly unsatisfied by it, staying in Sean's line of vision at all times, circling back to his side as often as she can, looking over again and again to see if he's awake yet. The second she sees he is, she hands off her paperwork to Lexie and hurries over, taking a seat and leaning over the bed as she reaches to clasp his hand in both of hers. "Don't you ever do that again."