"It's not like it's all the time," Meredith says, stricken, starting to babble, "or even most of the time, it's just when I think about it and I don't usually, I don't feel anything like that usually, it's... It's good, okay? This is good. I need to know what's wrong before I can fix it and now I know." Not that that's ever really helped her before, but she's getting better about it, she thinks. This, though, seeing him like this, she never gets any better equipped for.