It's brutal, the combination of watching him falling apart and staying still herself, not quite able to make herself go to him yet, knowing how absolutely and utterly selfish she is for it. For one wild moment, Meredith thinks he's never really known her at all. He has this absurd idea she's a good person and she can't see it at all. Her expression contorts with something like horror, because she knows now she has to listen or else run, and for a moment, she honestly considers running. He's always been wrong about her.

Then she's moving across the room to pull him to her, though she can't quite look at him now she's finally managed to stop. Even without looking at him, it feels like he's finally gone and ripped her heart out. He gets to grieve, he gets to miss the woman he loves, she's always known that, but she can barely breathe, being the one to comfort him through it.