He wants to, is the thing. He wants so badly to be able to get it all off his chest to the one person in the world that he wants to tell everything, but he can't. It's not just guilt over the things he's done, although it's harder than it ever was to deny that there's a lot of that, it's that they speak so strongly about who he is, who he always will be, and she knows none of it. He's let it all go for so long, pretending it isn't an issue, and now it's too late.

Forcing himself not to look up at her, he shakes his head again. "Nae a good idea, that." He doesn't know what good brushing her off will do in the long run, but he also doesn't have any better ideas at the moment.